Have you noticed that the mention of the words God, faith, or religion in a social gathering might be the equivalent of asking who a person will vote for this presidential election? Simply put, these aren’t the topics of conversations that will quickly win you friends. And yet, according to the Blue Zones Power 9 principle of “Belong,” our faith is essential to adding longevity to our lives. Did you know that their studies show that belonging to a faith-based community can add up to fourteen years to your life? Wow! Right?
So it got me pondering: Why is faith such a hot topic of conversation? And I believe I have an answer that goes beyond the “If you or anyone else doesn’t believe what I believe, you are wrong and I am right” way of thinking.
As soon as you use the word “God” with people, you are bound to get a reaction. Some people will soften, hoping that you believe as they do, and some will be completely offended that you would even speak of such a thing. It’s a buzzword that tends to surface a great deal of emotions and opinions. I even wonder if these strong feelings decide whether we belong to a faith-based community or not.
Let me explain. I am forty-nine years old and have half a lifetime of questions, hurts, pain, and some happiness, too. I’m sure we all have a long list of whys: Why, God, did you let that happen to me? Why, God, did you let that person die? Why, God, is there war? There are so many questions.
I’ll go first. When I look back at 2024, two things have challenged my faith. First, after twenty-seven years of marriage, my ex-husband and I had to admit we had failed and cordially decided to divorce. And for those of you who have gone through a divorce, you know the ripping, pulling, tears, hurt, and loss that I have walked through this year. And yes, I did pray and ask God “why?” more times than I can count in between the tears and sleepless nights.
And then comes my second “Why God” for 2024: the recent loss of my dear friend to cancer. In truth, I would call my friend my chosen family. I can tell you that I have not grieved a greater loss in my life than I am right now, including the death of my father. And once again, I am flooded with the whys. And folks, I’m just talking about 2024. Do you know what I mean?
Now, I can look to my childhood faith and community and find a certain amount of comfort there, as it is familiar. But that doesn’t make it right for me. If I am being completely honest with you, I have yet to find an organized faith-based community whose teachings model what I believe and how I live.
And so here I am, working to find answers that fit with my good-news, faith-based beliefs that I have cultivated over the years. I choose to believe that there is a God who wills only good for you and me in our lives, family, friendships, community, nations, the world, and the universe. And yet, I also believe that with the gift of self-awareness and free will, we are caught in a cauldron of good and bad based on our and other people’s actions. That is the uniqueness of our existence that tends to bring up many of the questions we all seek answers to.
And I am not here to answer those questions for you. My degree is in communications, not religion. But I do have peace in knowing that for 2024, I can look back on my marriage in gratitude for the lessons I learned, for the healing and wholeness that it brought into my life for as long as that chapter lasted. And it produced three of the most beautiful human beings I am proud to call my children. As for my friend who passed away, I can only compare the goodness, joy, and happiness that the relationship brought into my life to a rose in full bloom. It’s something I captured, enjoyed, and appreciated in all of its glory while it lasted.
And that, my friends, I get to take with me all of today, tomorrow, and for the rest of my life. I look for more beauty every day of my life. From there, I am continually in pursuit of like-minded people who I can fellowship, laugh, and cry with along the way. And if I can do a little bit of good for others in addition to those things, then I believe I am living the fullest life I could hope for. And if I happen to find a faith-based community that fits with my philosophy, then I will be that much more blessed.
So here’s to the journey, friends. Cheers!
