I was born and raised by two assassins for the United States government and my childhood was nothing short of an adventure. I wasn’t like any normal child. I didn’t have dolls to play with, I was trained in karate. I didn’t wear braids, my parents only bought me camo. We moved around a lot, so the idea of consistent friendships was out of the question. I longed for playdates, birthday parties, and company that wasn’t mom and dad.
My longing for companionship has snaked its way into my adult life. I followed in my parents’ footsteps and work in government as well. The pay is great, however, it’s nearly impossible to have relationships. But, it doesn’t mean I can’t daydream about a fairytale kind of love. I’m a hopeless romantic. I long for kisses in the rain. Holding hands while looking at Christmas lights. Laying in bed for hours gazing into each other’s eyes. Pancakes for dinner. Saying ‘I love you’ first thing in the morning and the last thing at night. The idea of this kind of love gives my heart cartwheels. Then reality sets in, I will never have it. Love is for normal people like teachers or doctors, not assassins.
I date online from time to time. Lately, all of them have been completely ridiculous except for one. I met a man who was a clown and smelled like cheese. Another who led a Facebook group for people recovering from an obsession with foot fetishes. Most recently, a woman who talked the whole time about her desire to cover her arm in tattoos of the Spice Girls.
There is one date that has been playing on repeat. One with Alex Mora, a cute guy and dog trainer, who may have stolen my heart. He met me at the restaurant and at first glance, I knew I was about to fall for him. Hard. I loved his jet-black hair combed back, toned arms, and a smile that lit up his entire face. We got to talking about anything and everything.
While gazing at each other over candlelight, my mind raced with thoughts that this man could be the one I was searching for. I wasn’t thinking rationally.
I didn’t want to come off as desperate, so I got in serious mode. “So, uhhh, what do your parents do for work?”
He flashed his brown eyes at me. “You really want to know about my parents? Or do you want to get out of here, Sweetness?”
I would’ve followed Alex to the moon. I would’ve eaten out of the palm of his hand.
After he paid for our dinner, we ran out of the restaurant.
He whistled for a cab. His beautiful eyes reflected in the flash of cars. My body felt weightless when he grabbed my hand. I could’ve flown away like a balloon.
A taxi pulled up. He told the driver, “8th and Broadway, please.”
As we got comfortable, I felt him pull me close. His hands on my face, kissing me with incredible passion. I swear I saw fireworks.
I pulled away, out of breath. “What…was that for…? I mean, this is our first date. You shouldn’t go around kissing people…”
He winks, “Shut up, Enjoy the moment,”
I did enjoy the moment. I didn’t want it to end. Especially because I’m still thinking about it now.
Two weeks later.
All my government training prepared me for my death. To defend my livelihood no matter what it takes. However, nothing prepared me for a moment like right now. A moment of attempting to balance a date I’m hung up on and being present for the mission.
My latest mission has been to find the identity of a killer. A killer who has been killing agents left and right. No one knows who they are and it’s on me to figure it out. I have finally tracked them down. I swerve in and out of traffic to get them to pull off the road.
I yell out my window, “Get out of the car, asshole! I don’t want to have to shoot!”
Their car zigzags into the dirt road and the person gets out.
I’d recognize that hair anywhere.
Alex looks at me and says, “Hello, Sweetness.”
