The Power of Friendship

The Blue Zones Power 9 principle of friendship is the very principle I dreaded writing about the most on my Blue Zones Power 9 journey. Why? Well, to be perfectly honest, I have many people I would call my friends. In Lake County, it’s easy to call many friends because we are so tightly connected. For example, anytime I go to one of my favorite watering holes, I almost always know someone there to strike up a conversation with and call my friend. But bring that circle closer, and I would bring very few of those people into my home to share personal time with. 

And then came my divorce. Hang in there. I know we’re talking about the Power 9 principle of friendship, and I promise we’ll make a full swing of it. Yes, I am recently divorced. No one knew about the divorce until after it was official. And then, not until I made the announcement on my Facebook page. 

And here is where my story of friendship begins. From that post and at my most vulnerable place, I received the greatest outpouring of friendship, love, support, hugs, and general goodwill from my Facebook family. My heart was overwhelmed, to say the least. 

Out of that has come an evening of good food, wine, laughter, and great conversation among friends, as well as invitations to join other social gatherings. And in the nature of gratitude, I began reaching out to others near and far, thanking them for their friendship. 

One friendship in particular stands out. Little did I know that my email would come at the same time that this person had just found out they were diagnosed with leukemia. Strange how the universe works, bringing paths together on this journey called life. From this connection, a deeper friendship is developing in my life because I reached out.

My ex-husband and I remain friends. When I look back on our twenty-seven-and-a-half years of marriage, I call him my war buddy. Our paths crossed at such a time that only we could truly hear and help one another due to the similarity of our childhoods. For twenty-seven years, we held each other, believed each other’s stories, and brought the kind of healing that only someone who has been there can understand. 

And then, it seems our paths had to go in different directions. In my grief and lowest point, the universe spoke back to me. Odd, I know, but how else can I describe a moment of clarity? It told me that there was something new for me on the other side of this experience. I saw the possibility of something I had never seen or known before, and it would be so good–everything I could want and more. But I had to go through the journey to get there. And so I did. I walked through the ripping, pulling, and tearing of a divorce and survived. 

Today, our family unit remains tightly connected. We have only goodwill for one another without jealousy, hate, or spite of any kind. And even as our worlds have and are still moving apart, we are all making room for something new and beautiful that could not be otherwise.

What comes next? I can’t tell you the details. But I have learned some very valuable lessons about friendship. Friendship can mean many more things than what our culture may define as normal. I would consider everyone on this planet to be my friend on some level, even if it’s just acknowledging each other as fellow human beings. Do I let everyone into my inner circle? Of course not. That wouldn’t be safe. But when I look at others as my friends, I believe it shows intention in my spirit of how I want to be seen and treated. 

Then I have social media friends and you, my Bloom friends, who I may see less often and not know as well but have given and received many friendly notes, messages, emails, etc over the years. And, of course, from there, there are those I enjoy spending my personal time with. One can never have too many friendships. Isn’t that the most wonderful thing about friends? There will never be too many.

But the only way you can gain friendship is by opening yourself up to the possibility of it happening. Do you know what that means? One must be vulnerable. And here is where I think the nature of friendship gets tricky. If we aren’t invested in others with our time, talents, and energy, we risk not being received in friendship when we need it. But, when we are already invested in others, I believe others will receive our vulnerability in friendship, love, and support. 

Perhaps the first step is being willing to be vulnerable and reach out. I’m guessing that you are more invested in others’ lives than you realize, and I would hope your vulnerability will be met with warmth, love, and grace. From there, it is possible that connections never thought possible could arise. But one can only know when one tries.

Friendship is the open door that leads to love, laughter, romance, marriage, many memories, and the amazing feeling of belonging. Isn’t it amazing to get a phone call from a good friend? What would birthdays be like without friendship? 

Sure, in family units, you belong because you’re family. But friendships can come and go while some last a lifetime. The glorious thing about friendship is its a choice. Our time is preciously short in this place we call planet Earth. And when we choose to give even a second of our time to another person, well, I can’t think of a better gift than that to give.

Already, I feel more connected and am creating new connections through friendship and vulnerability. And all of these things have happened in the past three weeks. What’s next? Who knows? I’m excited to find out because when one door closes, another always opens. So here’s to never having too many friends!

To learn more about the Power 9 Principles, click here.

To learn about the Blue Zones Project – Lake County and all they have to offer, click here.